Organize Your Sock Drawer

On how the language we use shapes our experiences

Introduction

Sitting to observe the world around allows for thought to flow from stimulus to stimulus, drifting in and out of our own narration. Each of us has the best seat in the house to experience our own lives. Playing an arduous role, we are all simultaneously the narrator, actor, and audience. The role of the narrator is primarily attention allocation. In any story, the narrator will decide what is important for the storyline to keep the audience advancing along the plot line. Our story begins on a trip down memory lane to language arts class. An idiosyncratic setting that will bring the audience in, everyone can think of something to do with a primary school class. If you need a refresher on class, here is a graphic you may recognize to demonstrate where we’re at in our story.

Rising Action

Language is the epitome of the fabricated reality. Each sound takes its form to broadcast meaning. After the individual has kindled conscious awareness of the new day, the first thoughts to infiltrate the mind may offer a foreshadow of the what the day holds. These thoughts are information that will ascribe a state to the being, which will then be presented internally and externally. At this point in time, the individual’s only responsibility is to observe their internal dialogue that prefaces their day. To indulge, or not to indulge, in this responsibility will determine the proceedings. Thoughts run unsupervised until they are observed. Thought itself does not belong to any one person; they are simply a transmission being received. These first thoughts upon waking, informs the individual of their own aroused state, and perhaps how they feel about this state. From there, the individual will form language around the thoughts they choose to observe, assigning them value, and inevitably, a weight.

Conflict

Consider how one declares a state of being, “I am hungry,” “I am thirsty,” etcetera. However, being so declarative with our state of being creates a definitive state. The individual feels hungry, their identity is not hungry. Affirming states of being is a continuous process utilized by the self for validation. Recognizing a feeling is important for emotion regulation, and language affords this recognition. Despite this, language can also create an inner turmoil when it’s leveraged to validate negative self-talk.  “I am no good,” is one example of a negative validation that creates a false identity of the self.  The permanence that affirmative statements cement lead to an escapable loop pattern of how one perceives themselves. While declaring, “I am anxious,” or “I am depressed,” are beneficial for placing feelings, they are not an identity. Feeling, thought, and the self, are separate entities, existing in parallels and in conjunction with one another. Through disentanglement, one may find they feel anxious or feel depressed. The individual’s identity is not depressed, or anxious.

Anxious or depressive thoughts will run parallel with the self that is in conjunction with an anxious or depressed state. Feeling and thought are reflections of each other, and sometimes one will arise first. Using distinguishing language like, “this makes me feel (insert feeling)” demonstrates a state’s impermanence. For unpleasant states, the quicker one can identify with something outside of this state, and accordingly adjust the reflecting thoughts, the quicker the state will be changed. In class when you would become bored, you’d find a distraction to pass the time. We’re all just passing the time, and we might as well enjoy it.

On the other hand, ignoring states of being do harm to the individual, as ignorance to the self is just invalidation. Refusing to accept the state of being will only prolong suffering. One does not deny their hunger or thirst, why deny anger or sadness? Acknowledgement is made by defining the state, preceding acceptance. Acceptance of the state is the first step towards lifting the burden, freeing up space for action. Denial behaves like a messy sock drawer that doesn’t close all the way. Hints of socks revealing themselves no matter the efforts to fully encapsulate them. Sometimes, one just has to start over by emptying the drawer, folding the socks back up, and closing the drawer. When the state of the drawer is not accepted, the disorganization will only escalate within.

Climax

The language one use shapes both the limitations and expansions of the individual. As the narrator, one must determine which thoughts align with the plot of the story and construct the helpful language around it. Thoughts are not definitive, and neither is a state. Before the existence of a log home, was the thought to cut a tree for firewood. The collective’s thoughts build upon each other, cascading to the present. Language concerning a personal state will stream the same.

Upon meeting a state in time, there will be the monologue that came before, during, and after the conjunction of the self and the state. This coexistence of state and self will be shaped by the dialogue used to describe it. At this point, the narrator determines how their story will progress, do they accept the messy sock drawer? Will they meet this acceptance with gentle language, or harsh language? Both options will serve to dispel the state of denial. Both options are acceptable. Yet, the option chosen should be the one that best aligns the individual with the plot of their own story. Perhaps, they have a messy sock drawer, but they know where everything is. What works for one, may not work for another. What matters is what the individual thinks about their sock drawer.

The primary language around one’s own state of being is responsible for determining progress. In which case, the narrator will choose the language, the actor will decide the action, and the self will be the audience. Serving as primary witness to both the language and the action, the self will always observe the benefits and downfalls to the decisions made. Being selective with the words we speak about ourselves, and the world around us, is a filter of our best intentions. Words consist of vibration and sound, the words one speaks creates the reality around them. The narrator holds the power to change the course of the story at any point in time. Choosing to use kind language will identify the self with a world of kindness.

Falling Action

The way everyone chooses to wear themselves, and identify with themselves, is going to look different. Just because someone handles acceptance by turning right instead of left, doesn’t make them wrong. Progress is progress. A manufactured reality is created by all the language used to shape the present moment. Like the water that plunges over a waterfall, the water at the top of the fall, mid fall, and the base all work together to create the beauty of the moment. Language will remain to be the individual’s responsibility, creating their own force that flows with the rapids.

Conclusion

As each of us allocates our attention throughout the day, it is best to take note of the language we use to narrate our experience. Employing primarily negative language will create a negative outlook, which will be reflected by our own state of being. Balancing the ebbs and flows of life lies in the power of our own self-talk. By choosing positive language, actions can align with the values of the self. The best seat in the house to witness life is reserved for each one of us.

Class dismissed.

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This piece serves as the last piece as a part of the “A Few Notes For the Aliens” epoch of work. A new series is coming soon. Stay tuned for details, and for new pieces this Friday and Sunday. Here’s a preview of what to expect from my upcoming series: “If all I see, is not all there is, then this is not I’ll be.”

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